"Alcohol, check, willies, check, baby wipes, check, tent, check, blow up mattress, check, Alcohol, check check, bikini.. are ya mad in the head sure what would we be needing that for, ya ur right, think we're set, go on so I’ll throw in a few clothes.." So we get on the bus, Jesus put the foot down the weekend will be over by time we get there...
Ya you've guessed it, we made the journey to the eco/hippy/any excuse to throw copious amounts of drink & drugs down our throats festival otherwise known as Electric Picnic.
We arrive...."right, where are we going, don't know let's try here to pick up our wrist bands, no girls you have to head up to gate 7", grand get there, "no girls you have to go to gate 1”.. “OK", Jesus I never knew the pain of carrying 48 cans. So an hour later we reach our destination through no help from security, the phrase piss up in a brewery comes to mind, but no harm, it's all good, sure we're here now.
"Ok so, I'll start pitching the tent, sure you catch up the lads", I’ll just crack open a Heineken for support, "how's the tent coming along Daisy”?, “ya not too bad, throw us over another can there"...moments later..."ah you're making good headway”, “ya not too bad now, pass us over another Heineken please"....more moments later.." right all sorted think I deserve a beer to celebrate"....
So we go exploring, a couple of cans for the journey..Random strangers roaming around & sure you have got to love the hippies, those crazy skittle swinging, ball juggling/stoners that they are.. A great atmosphere was starting to kick in, we check out the beer buying areas, grabbed our eco cups which will be permanently glued to our hands for the whole weekend. Sure what can I say the bands are electric, the comedy tent was a welcome area for a laugh & a chill and good god don't forget ur plastic bag nothing worse than a wet numb arse...we check out the Stunning, great gig..a few other random acts, all the time heading back to our tent to replenish our fixed eco cups with more looney juice...bless sure I’ll grab a falafel and sit to munch, Jesus I forgot to pay the man ah well, what’s he gonna do…
Saturday kicks in & we find a welcome free Lyons tea tent, that'll do, how very civilized we thought, uh & a free flake sure that's breakfast sorted...copious amounts alcohol & the likes later and here is where it all becomes a blur..we make our way to the VIP tent or (people up their own arse tent) as I liked to call it, meet a nice guy who kindly offers to buy me a drink, silly man sure I've a round going on, bless him don't think he even got change out of a €50...a couple of more drinks & sure we're flying it. I think it was there and then I decided that this area was only to be used for toilet stops and beer refills.
Sunday comes around & few more bands to see, reckon be a good idea to sit in “Body & Soul” area. We check the ever moaning Sinead O Connor, we gave her all of 2.5 minutes and we were otta there, I’d have rather be dragged through a field of glass naked than sit through that wave of depression. A few more beers later & I’m dragging my now half empty rug sack onto the bus, one poor soul falls over her bag before limping on the bus, oh the indignity of it all, u go through the whole weekend of debauchery/toilet queues/food queues only to fall at the last hurdle, it kept me going for the journey home. All in all a great weekend was had by all apart from security not knowing their arse from their elbow, a pretty eventful substance abuse fun loving/loving everyone weekend had by all...& the baby wipes & beer a lifesaver..
3 comments:
"Alcohol, check, willies, check" - what the hell - you brought cocks ?
Oh Matron....
The security down there are woeful - knackery scottish bastards. I honestly think they try to be unhelpful so that they build up such a shit reputation that no-one will ask them shit in future years.
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